How could u describe this mess better..-.- I am so fuckin angry that he didnt and i guess he ll never stop hurting her maybe thats what he means when he wrote her : i am not good enough to u i am not worth to be urs...-.-
But even miore stupid if he really believes in all his pretended life...if he hides behind the truth..
thats not what it should life be ...thats not the way his future s going...its not the way to meke it work...That cant be the way...how long is he able to live a lie to be alive but notice or realize at the end that it was never u who has been alive
just a shadow of something u wanted to work...but will this fill u with bliss?
I dont think so..there happened to much theres so much stuff hidden inside him..i guess it could be something very hard to face and so many that the wave will maybe throw her of her feet..
But I know she is able to get up again and to fight for a real present..for something whats woth to live and stay alive for..really alive and not as a puppet or a dark point in the list of the earth..
I wish I could tell him that he shouldnt hurt her but I know at this moment its not possible to fullfill my wish...I know he is not able to change something about the whole situation and at least its him who makes the decision fora puppet or hisself...i rembered a song title, kaksi kuvaa ...I dont remeber the content of the lyrics but the title says more as I could express it how I mean my explainations before...
I am tired of sleeping of doing nothing but i am too weak too to change something about my life I ve lost touch with reality by chasing my dream...sometimes I do kind of regret but not really i know that this state before wasnt me just a hope to survive and lay my life in other hands cos I am so scared to be a loser...to defeat...
But now I have to admit my defeat and walk back home..hopefully not just in one directions either in the one who leads me home to my koti <3