:POWEREDBY_ Broken_Puppet:
Back in fuckin germany

I guess I hadnt expected that it could get more worse than before...but it definetly is...its gettin much worse...-.-
I feel so lost now...I am just fallin and fallin and´I am not able to stop it...

 

 

9.1.08 17:11


If I die tomorrow....

I gues I like Mörtley Crüe even if its just for one song...^^ that doesnt mean i dont like the others...nono i only know this song...i think i go to utube and kill myself a bit with mr. selo ^^

he is just an impressive person, i dont kno why and maybe i exaggerate a bit but he is the only finnish men i take for serious when he starts talking ^^
i dont know if that is good or not, maybe it just shows that I long for somebody who save me from my insanity...-.- and who tries to keep me going to walk forward, i really need someone who kicks my ass...
i am very lazy sometimes...it seems as if the time is frozen...i only walk on same place as if my feet couldnt move forward anymore...sadsad..-.-

I am so confused cos i guess i havent expecting something like that...its just i dont know how to handle the whole situation without getting hurted... to myself cos i am such a weak person with no idea what i want to reach in life...i am without any orientation...

and theres is this stupid girl who believes that the one i really like is her possession...i mean she has no right to say sthg like that...she is just one of athousand girls who like him as well and i cant get the point that she is telking about him like if he "has" to like her...i would never demand for his sympathy or force him to like me...i would be very sad of course if he wouldnt like me but i ve to accept it if it would be this way...and i would wish him that he is just happy...i guess that is what love is about...so i am going to stare and listen to jussi again even if i ll die today ^^" cos of his singing...

Love ♥

dany

3.12.07 12:50


I hate men -especially finnish ones -.-

I ll never get it...Why do they all act the same??? Are they so blind to see what is good to them and whats bad???

Why id he tell her he would love her and then go back to his girlfriend??? That makes me cry too cos I ve learned to like him too by speaking about him and reading his messages...
That is so not fair...will he ever runs away is he so afraid that could not make it on his own???
Cos when u consider what SHE said to him and about his problems i am really not sure what he wants with her...*cry*
That hurts too bad...
He persuaded me that he would be strong this time and try to figure out all problems and to solve them even if it means that he would be alone

This on one day and now???
He failed like he did with all things...seems that he is not able to manage his life...really not able...idioti! I mean fuck voi vittu...Its defenitly not fair...And its not fair to tell my friend he would love her and then crawl back to HER

I really think about doing worse things with her...i could switch off my conscience...

Would be very nice to kill her, maybe would save all our problems
yesterday was just nice thoughts by thinks of 3 men siting in a room doing a jam session ^^ that was the time when evrything was quite okay...but then...argh...I just hate him right now...

 Can sbdy invent something against men???

Pls let me know...
go to hug my hun and to dry her tears...

bye

21.11.07 12:46


Huns

oh

I guess 2dae is a good day even if I have a kind of terrible hangover -.-
yeah like jussi said lonkero is alcohol and when u drink alcohol you get drunken...he is so intelligent  XD and here is something for my hun..xcuse me that it is in german but i am too lazy now to ´translate the whole thing XD this is for you my hun <3

 

Was du mir bedeutest

 

 

Ich weiß wir kennen uns noch nicht lange und wahrscheinlich ist es total verrückt, was wir planen. Aber ich weiß auch, das wir das schaffen können. Solange wie wir selbst daran glauben und jeder Schritt, den wir in Tampere getan haben, muss uns doch die Bestätigung gegeben haben, dass es das ist was wir wollen oder nicht? Doch, da bin ich ganz sicher. Ich habe es gesehen, bevor wir ins Flugzeug gestiegen sind. Als du ein letztes Mal tief durchgeatmet und die erste Stufe der Flugzeugtreppe betreten hast. Wie viel Überwindung es dich jedes Mal kosten muss, wenn du wieder „nach Hause“ musst. Ein Zuhause, das sich schon längst nach Norden verschoben hat. „Koti on siella missä sydamesi on“ – genau das haben wir beide gefühlt, als wir die Hauptstraße entlanggewandert sind. Jede Sekunde, die wir im Amadeus waren, unserem Wohnzimmer. Und auch als wir völlig zu am Bahnhof saßen und beinahe weinten, als wir an den bevorstehenden Rückflug dachten. Das Gefühl, als wir unser Gepäck abgaben. Und jetzt diese Entscheidung, die eigentlich nur mich betrifft und die du ohne zu murren mitträgst. Es ist also egal wie lange man sich kennt und selbst wenn wir nur glauben uns zu kennen, obwohl es da Dinge gibt, die wir nicht übereinander wissen. So verbindet uns immer noch die Erinnerungen. Diese Gedanken über Tampere, die uns aneinander fesseln, die uns gemeinsam lachen und weinen lassen und die nur zeigen, dass unser Ziel einfach nicht falsch sein kann. Es ist schön, dass du da bist, deine Bereitschaft mir zu helfen und dich dabei ein ganz klein wenig zu vergessen. Dein Glaube und vielleicht auch nur vorgespielter Optimismus. Denn es kann ganz gewaltig schief gehen, das zumindest wissen wir beide. Da ist immer diese Angst, dass WIR versagen. Das alles doch nicht so leicht ist. Aber weißt du was? Dann lass uns zusammen versagen, lass uns am Boden kriechen bis wir genug Kraft haben um wieder aufzuerstehen. Denn wie du mir immer sagst ist jedes Ende, auch das mögliche Ende unserer Träume, die Chance für einen neuen Anfang. Unseren Anfang, denn ich werde immer da sein und ich werde dich nur gehen lassen, wenn du unbedingt gehen musst. Dann werde ich mich irgendwie zusammen reißen und mir selbst in den Hintern treten. Aber wenn du mich jemals brauchen solltest, werde ich da sein um dich zu retten, denn das bin ich dir schuldig. So wie du jetzt für mich da bist, werde ich für dich da sein, werde dir helfen aufzustehen und jeden, der dich verletzt millionenmal das zurückgeben, was er dir angetan hat. Tampere allein ohne dich ist kaum vorstellbar...Sagte ich KAUM??? Vergiss es- ohne dich setze ich keinen Schritt in diese Stadt, nicht einmal für Ville...*blödlächel* Das ist UNSERE Stadt, denn die Gefühle, die ich dort habe, kann ich nicht mehr ohne dich haben. Wie war das? Ein Haar, ein Hirn, kein Herz... Das Herz haben wir an Tre verloren, an diese unheimliche Atmosphäre dort, an die Vertrautheit, die uns erfüllt, erzittern lässt und uns Emotionen beschert, die mit Worten nur schwer zu erfassen sind. Denn im Moment tun diese Worte unheimlich weh, denn zu weit sind sie entfernt, verbunden mit einer Sprache, verschlüsselt, ein wenig unverständlich...Aber wir werden sie begreifen, werden sie uns zu eigen machen und dann werden wir endlich zu Hause sein...Zuhause mit dir, denn was ich dir eigentlich sagen will, ich liebe dich...du bist ein Teil meiner Heimat. Ohne dich kein „Koti“ ^^ denn mein Herz liegt dort mit dir begraben...

U know what u mean to me...and dear : HAVE WE REALLY MADE SUCH A QUOTATION TO WHATEVER????
Oh fuck XD we are soooooooooooo evil XD

go and play wit my brain...^____________^

love dany

19.11.07 11:45


Fucked up

Oh where to start...

 I cant get all this stupid things out of my head... I just ask myself all the time whats the sense of my life...I mean its always the same every day...it doesnt mean a thing to me...really it doesnt mean anything
I miss him ...I miss him so much

i cant describe what I feel when it comes to this certain person..its just confusing me always the whole time...
It follows me everywhere and I cant make it go away its always on my mind...its like a neverending escape of my feelings...
I hate and love him at same time...

Well if he would notice...I dont think that it would change something cos I know theres no way to make him clear how i feel
and that is the point again what do i feel about him??? Its more than this "I like u thing" u know this kind of feelings which tells: Oh nice guy go and grab him...
theres much more and its all so confusing
I miss him like hell its not that thing that I miss the person he really is..i miss the feelings when i look at him...

I remember when him and me met the first time..i was already dead u know??? It was too hard to face this connection, which appeared after one second...and it grows every time after it..it was almost like: i know there is something but what the hell is there??? Its More than love i dont know if i am able to call it love its more like i need u to feel the hole in my heart...i am searching for the part which could fill my heart with bliss...i think it doesnt really mean that he has to be wirth me...its more like: i hope that u could save my bleeding soul...the soul which sits in the dark and waits for something for an aura or kind like that to feel not alone anymore...

And that hurts me again...will i ever find somebody to fill this emptiness??? and can i expect from somebody that he makes me feel nearly complete????

I dont think that theres a person whom i can please to do that for me...that also means i had to admit that i am vulnerable...and theres still someone who is able to do that is another point...i am so mazed everything is crazy right now...

I am weak and I hate to be like that..I hate to be something like a stone on someones heart...

all i want is to be happy to become a better person and be strong...and there are all these persons, who expect from me always to know whats right and the best...but maybe sometimes its ok to choose something wrong...

to play a wrong game...just to know later what is really right thing to do...

 Well I was there on the day they sold the cause for the queen
And when the lights all went out
We watched our lives on the screen
I hate the ending myself
But it started with an alright scene

It was the roar of the crowd
That gave me heartache to sing
It was a lie when they smiled
And said, "you won't feel a thing"
And as we ran from the cops
We laughed so hard it would sting

Yeah yeah, oh

If i'm so wrong (so wrong, so wrong)
How can you listen all night long? (night long, night long)
Now will it matter after i'm gone?
Because you never learned a god damned thing

You're just a sad song
With nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
Well if you think that I'm wrong
This never meant nothing to you

I spent my high school career
Spit on and shoved to agree
So I could watch all my heroes
Sell a car on tv
Bring out the old guillotine
We'll show 'em what we all mean

Yeah yeah, oh

If I'm so wrong (so wrong, so wrong)
How can you listen all night long? (night long, night long)
Now will it matter after I'm gone?
Because you never learned a god damned thing

You're just a sad song
With nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
Well if you think that I'm wrong
This never meant nothing to you

So go, go away, just go, run away.
Now where did you run to?
And where did you hide?
Go find another way
Price you pay

Woah oh, Woah oh, Woah oh, Woah oh, Woah oh, Woah oh

You're just a sad song
With nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
Well if you think that I'm wrong
This never meant nothing to you, come on

You're just a sad song
With nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
Well if you think that I'm wrong
This never meant nothing to you

At all
At all
At all
At all

I am a sad song...and i know that i have nothing to say nothing what means something...and when i am so wrong????why does this all mean nothing to me????am i really waiting for a hospitalstay...somebody to repare my soul????

I am so lost...

I am alone

17.11.07 00:33


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